Author Topic: The Art of Asking for an RP! ~  (Read 2281 times)

Offline In_My_Mind_Palace

  • Love Addicted
  • Posts: 327
  • Gender: Male
  • Otherwise known as Gent
The Art of Asking for an RP! ~
« on: December 06, 2017, 10:29:12 pm »
Disclaimer; This is in no way, shape, or form directed at one particular person. I actually recently ranted about this very same thing on another RP site that I use - and afterwards very quickly got an influx of PMs doing the very same thing that I was venting about, so I thought a 'guide' of sort may be helpful. If you are a person who has sent me a PM in the fashion that I've described before, please do not take offence, because I've gotten the same sort of PMs from probably hundreds of people over my last twelve years of RPing, and at one point, I was probably guilty of these things too.


Allow me to paint you a picture; It's late, you're bored, you've got nothing much to do in the real world and all of your current RP partners are off-line, you're caught up with your RPs or have hit a roadblock and you've decided, "Gee, I'd sure like to start up another RP to keep me preoccupied!" So you create a search thread, or you spend a while thinking of a new plot or fandom that you'd like to write an RP for. You type out your idea, update your thread title if necessary, and give your thread a bump to get it to the top of the page and eagerly wait. If you're lucky, after a few minutes, or a few hours, or (Hopefully not) a few days, you see that little [1] up next to your messages and you get super excited and click on it, and eagerly new your new message and...!!


...That's...That's it? Where's the rest of the message? What do you want from me? Did you kidnap my dog and you're holding it for ransom? Did you find my avatar sexy and you're going to try awkwardly hitting on me? Are you trying to tell me about your lord and savior? What do you want from me? Tell me yours secrets!!

Now, I've been RPing for a long time...A loooong time, about twelve years actually, and over the years, I've realized that there are good and bad ways to send a message to someone when you are looking for an RP, and I'd like to kind of pass my thoughts on and show people what I think works and what I think doesn't work strictly based on my own experiences as an RPer.

Example 1; "Hi," "Hello," or "Hey,"

Often times, I get messages that are very very vague and very simple and consist of nothing more than a single word of greeting. Now while the previous example doesn't logically run through my head upon reading these things, I'm very likely to not really have an interest in RPing with you. The problem with these types of messages being that you are; not giving me any ideas of what kind of RPer you are, you're not giving me any knowledge that you have any ideas, and you're making yourself come across as (Honestly) very lazy.

If you really don't know what to say to an RPer that you're interested in, by all means, keep it simple, but at least try to get their attention and put in a little more effort than typing out five letters,

"Hi there, I've seen you around the forums and I'd really like to RP with you. Would you be interested in brainstorming with me?"/

This however is more like to catch my attention if you really want to give the bare minimum, but there are ways to make yourself more appealing when contacting a potential RP partner that you have your eyes on. The key thing to take away from this example is that people like to feel noticed. If you tell me that you've read some of my RPs or have seen me around, it'll make me feel special, and thus, more willing to consider spending time in creating a fictional world with you.

Example 2; "Wanna RP?"

...Yes, yes I do, that's why I'm here on this site. Again, messages like this just personally don't catch my attention at all. It doesn't show that you genuinely have any interest in RPing with me, all it shows is that you were online, I was online, and you are probably just really itching for an RP and I was here, so you sent me (And probably anyone else online) the quickest thing that you could type out.

Something along the lines of,

"Hi there, I saw you online, and read your kink list that you have in your signature. I think we have some common interests and I was hoping that you might like to RP with me if you're taking new partners right now?"

Is much more likely to actually make me want to RP with you. It shows that you've actually taken the time to look at what I'm interested and compare it to what you're interested in, therefore, I'll probably take a look at your kink list as well, and be more willing to start swapping ideas with you! Not to mention, I actually find it very nice when I'm asked if I'm taking on new partners, because sometimes, I'm already overwhelmed and might not be able to squeeze in another RP. I feel like it's a more polite thing to ask someone, rather than just assume that they're open to making new RPs.

Example; "Hi, Would you like to RP? I have a search thread, let me know if you see anything you like!"

Now...this is something that has actually gotten to the point of annoying me recently, because I receive messages like this over various websites...A LOT. It's most annoying when people do not include a link to their search thread, and don't have it even posted in their signature or their profile. I'm sorry, but you can't put in the effort of posting in a link for me, then I am not going to put forth the effort to sift through your created topics to find it. It's very often that with messages like this, I'll be miffed enough to just flat out not reply to you, If I'm feeling extra sugary nice, I might kindly decline, but most likely not...because of the next reason that this type of message personally bothers me.

Which would be the simple fact that; I spend A LOT of time going through the search thread, and chances are likely, that if you're PMing on the same day that your search thread is on the first page, I've probably already seen it, and I'm probably not interested. If I WAS interested, I would PM you and ask to RP with you. But I didn't. So I probably didn't see anything that I like.

What I think is a better way of approaching this would be to go about it like this,

"Hello! I saw your search thread earlier, I didn't see any ideas or plots that really caught my attention right away, but I really like your writing style and I think we'd compliment each other well. I've included a link to my search thread for you, and I'd really appreciate it if you took a look. If none of it strikes your fancy though, I'd be happy to brainstorm a new idea with you! Thanks for taking the time to read my message, I hope to hear back from you!"

Now THIS, shows more thought and effort behind it. THIS is something that I am much more likely to reply to. For one, I'm gonna appreciate that you looked at my thread, and I'm gonna be happy that you included a link to your own. It's also nice to see when an RPer is willing to collaborate and discuss plots and ideas with you. On top of that, thanking someone for reading your message is always a nice touch, and most people are happy to have their effort acknowledged, even if it's just the effort of opening up and reading your PM, you're still recognizing that they're taking the time in considering you as a new partner. And of course, the final touch there, adding something akin to hoping to hear back from there helps put it in their head that you have an expectation that they'll reply. If someone adds something like that in, it honestly makes me feel a little obligated to get back to them, and I'll probably be more likely to respond to their RP and agree to start writing with them.

Now, these are just some very broad (But very common) examples that I run across, I'd like to expand on this later as I think of different examples that I run across. Below, if you guys have examples of messages that you've gotten that you're either very unlikely, or very likely to respond to, feel free to leave them below! I hope this helps some of you!!
I am a bit burned out!! I appear to have overdone the rping a bit. If you haven't gotten a post from me lately, it's nothing personal and you're not the only one!! I just need a bit of a break and then I'll get back into things!!